2005 Tailgating Awards
Another year has passed and with it, many laughs, tears and moments that reshape each of our lives. This year has been a good one for us at the FFT. We have seen the birth of many traditions, in preparation for the births of many tailgaters in the off-season. We went through our share of trials and tribulations. And we celebrated some close victories and a close defeat. But we all came together every Saturday to celebrate each other and the passion we share in LSU Football. So in honor of that passion, we here at FFT bring you the long awaited…Ford Family Tailgating Post Season Awards
That's right. The awards have returned. Collin has gotten off of his butt and contributed to the tailgating post season for the first time in 3 years. And he picked a fantastic season to do it for. A lot occurred this year. Each award is hand selected by the Fords and distributed to those deserving. And please see the note at the bottom before your egos are inflated or your feelings get hurt!Collin Ford Best Looking Tailgater Award
There are a lot of people at the party each week that are really really ridiculously good-looking! It's hard to choose. We have the people who all have the beautiful purple and gold shoes, those stupid guys who spent their hard earned money on purple suits and a host of others who make the extra effort to show their tiger pride and their individual style each and every week. But this year, a new fashion sense was set. All those wonderful people who took a chance on a little t-shirt no one had ever heard of receive the best looking tailgater award. Whether you bought a purple or gold, you recognize that FFT is a cool family and if yours were as cool, you'd party with them too!
Kevin Ford Show Stopper Award
A lot happened this year that made people stop and look. With the addition of a karaoke machine, it was only a matter or time until everyone stopped their fun and turned towards the "stage" to see the show. There was one performance that was truly "show stopping". The first time Jeremy & Kevin Ford joined each other on stage to sing, we all wished the show would stop. The notes missed and words forgotten reminded us all of a bad American Idol sketch we would laugh at home. But when in person for the entire length of the song, only two words come to mind… "Please Stop!" Congratulations on winning your own award, Kevin. You couldn't have done it without Jeremy.
Jeremy Ford MEMORIAL Tailgater of the Year Award
It takes a lot of people to contribute to the party each week. And the best thing about our party is each week it is someone different who comes through and raises the bar. One week it may be a Schmeeckle, and then it may be a Dziuba, and then the following week it could be another member of a weird named family. But someone shows up every week to make the difference. There was one member who showed up every week for us, though. Come rain or shine. Whether the game was on Saturday, Friday or Monday, this Tailgater was there adding a little flavor to the party. So this year, in Jeremy's memory, we honor the FFT Christmas Tree with the Tailgater of the Year Award. This little tree said each week "I know it's not December and I am still standing. I'm still strong!"
P.R. Award
There is no doubt the FFT name has been thrown out into the BR spotlight this year. That is contributed to two people. These two worked tirelessly all off-season making arrangements and kissing butt to prepare for this season of tailgating. Whether it was paying off Pat Shingelton to be in his commercial, or sending the food lady weekly food items to spark an interest for an article, Mom and Dad were there to take the media spotlight and make sure everyone knew what they were up to every Saturday in the fall.
Thanks for Stopping by Award
Such a painful memory, I can't even remember what game it occurred at. But most of you probably remember the super drunk lady who stopped by (thanks to one Charlie Ford) and found her way to the love seat by the Christmas tree. She put on quite a show. From sleeping to sleep walking, and even some sleep falling, everyone noticed her presence and was so excited to see her stop by. Not since the days of Brittany Spears has one woman had such an impact on our party in such a short visit. So here's to you Drunken Lady on love seat. Thanks for stopping by!
Tequila Night Awards
Every year someone wins at Tequila Night. We pick a winner every year, yet we never recognize them with an award. So I take this time to recognize our past winners…
1998 - Matt wins the inaugural award by not making it to the game due to passing out in a car at the tailgate party
1999 - Brant wins with his impressive disappearing act. Once found on the stairs behind the Nuclear Science building, Brant was clearly the winner and celebrated by passing out in the newly named "Pass Out" chair
2000 - The problem with Tequila Night is you can so easily forget what happened. I guess we all won since none of us remember what happened!
2001 - Meares & Tim Cook take the cake for their first ever "Team Passing Out" championship. Paying homage to Matt's first performance, they make it to the truck and spend their time there instead of in the stadium.
2002 - After a two person winning night, we took it a little slower this year. That's why the winner didn't even have to pass out. All he had to do was shoot Aussie style (snort a line of salt and squeeze a lime in his eye.) Way to go random Ole Miss guy. You win.
2003 - Fords win! Theeeee Fords win! That's right. Kevin stepped up and took the lead as best Tequila Night'r. Pissed off still from the Ole Miss guy winning the year before, Kevin matches his efforts with an Aussie shot of his own. But Kevin topped him with making an LSU Mohawk at the party. (See the pictures please). Congrats for being a Ford and being a winner. You win twice!
2004 - Juba has always been a fan of Brant's. From the first day they met, he has been trying to be just like Grandpa. And on this day, he succeeded. By following in his magical footsteps, Juba pulled his own disappearing act, only to later be discovered in the stairwell of the Electrical Engineering bldg. Way to go Juba. You and Brant are two of a kind! (He also made out with some a dude in front of his wife)
Note - One must recognize A. Tony Corbett's efforts on this wonderful night. On most years, he would have won, so we must take this time to give him the only Runner-up award in Tequila Night history. No man has ever cried so much at a tailgate party. Way to prove your manhood and solidify yourself as the softest military man to ever set foot on the Tequila Night Battlefield.
2005 - This is another year of firsts. Our first female winner has been awarded. Melanie showed everyone that women can drink and pass out just as well as the men. She went old school and pulled a Matt by drinking too much that she had to pass out in a car. However, she showed why women are better than men. As soon as the pre-game beats from the stadium interrupted her drunken slumber, Melanie awoke ready to face the music. Rallying from the car on her own, she ran to the stadium, up the ramps and made it to her seat before kickoff even happened. Way to show us all up.
Congratulations to all you Tequila Night Winners. I hope this recognition inspires the rest of you to raise your game for next season so maybe you can win big on Tequila Night!
Best Party Addition
A lot of new things popped up around the EE building this year: T-shirts, Karaoke, a Christmas tree, pregnant chicks, etc. But nothing caught the awe & attention of all visitors as our very own official Chinese Bandit. This man came to us in the off-season all the way from China. He climbed aboard a pirate ship and set sail across the Pacific. Upon reaching the US, he teamed up with the Traveling gnome and made his way to Baton Rouge. There, he walked up and down every street until he found his new family, the Fords. Thanks for being such a warrior you wonderful Chinese Bandit.
The "Hey Ms. Sharon & Mr. Charlie, You Can Call Them Your Grandkids If We Can Inherit All Your Sweet Tailgating Supplies and Recipes" Award
Everyone would love to win this award. That's why when push came to shove, three couples are still duking it out. And they will be until all babies are born. Here's to the Schmeeckle's, the Long's and the Dziuba's who all wants dibs on the tailgating stuff. Thus, we will give the award to all three. I don't know if you noticed or not, but Papa has a lot of tailgating stuff to go around. And lord knows Mama can give you recipes to last you years and years. Thanks for coming out every week and feeding your little ones our delicious food at such an early age. I assure you each child is very appreciative.
2002 Tailgating Awards
Best Tailgating GameThis one is tough to call because there are numerous games that have been played at the parties this year, as well as away from them. But in the end, two games rose to the top. The best game when we were at home in Baton Rouge has to be Cheese Pickle Ball, which many of you are familiar with from the last 2 games of the season (check out the pictures).
The best game when we were on the road is a game for which only a few of you might be aware of. This game is Hey Cow! Hey Cow! is played when you are driving down the interstate or highway and a person in the car rolls down the window and yells "Hey Cow!" at the cows in the pastures on the side of the road. However many cows look up are how many points you get. The person with the most points wins. There are other rules, but those are the general ideas. If you have any questions, email Collin at cford2@lsu.edu.
Best Addition to the Party
Some people might think that the best addition to our party this year was the celebratory line-dancing which took place on a number of occasions. Others might think it was the smoking section created to keep away those people sucking on their cancer-sticks. And still more of you will think the best addition was the subtraction of Jeremy. But you are all wrong. The best addition to this season was the trailer pieced together and hand painted by our fearless leaders, Mama and Papa Ford.
Collin Ford Rookie of the Year
Daniel LeSage headed up what was the best rookie class FFT has ever seen. There were a lot of new faces, but none as prominent as Daniel's. Not only did he supply the amazing Boudin balls to our homecoming celebration, but his ability to set-up the "Fruit Cake Play" helped to guaranty an open bathroom every week. Great job Daniel!
Kevin Ford Most Improved Tailgater Award
Many of you will notice the name change of this award. This is because Kevin Ford was the most improved of all of the Fords and showed us why we should name the award after him. And who better to give the award to than Kevin's partner in crime, Kellye Bond. Kellye, as opposed to last year, was seen at numerous parties helping wherever she was needed and doing whatever it takes to help FFT to be bigger and better.
Charlie Ford Comic Relief Award
Anyone who came to any one of the tailgate parties this year knows who our Comic Relief was… Mr. Jeff Dunaway. Jeff's antics and off the wall craziness brought laughter to everyone around him. If you missed it, just check out the pictures. There are plenty. Some of the highlights of his hilarity are…chasing after the tow truck for "his truck", boarding the SOBE bus for a quick refreshing drink, offering the referees money at Kentucky, and even hiking his shorts up to his @$$ to intimidate opponents in the infamous bottle toss game. Thanks for the laughs Jeff!
Jeremy Ford Memorial Tailgater of the Year
The 3rd Annual Award goes to the one man who did such a good job this year, he could have been mistaken for a Ford. But since he isn't a Ford, he is up for the award and that is the man who filled in for our London Super Fan. He showed up early to help Collin and Papa set up, he always led the take down process before the game started, and he stood strong against Al and company in Jeremy's seats each week. So for all of his hard work, Jonathan "Juba" Dziuba is our 3rd Annual Jeremy Ford Memorial Tailgater of the Year. How fitting that the man who filled in for Jeremy gets his Memorial Award!
2001 Tailgating Awards
The Best Food Award (we had a tie)Marcus Valenciano, for his raw oysters that he ate after he shucked them on the lawn and the Lindsey's for bringing the funnel cakes that everyone loved so much!
Best Special Guest
Each year the parties get better and better. For those who remember, Ally McBeal appeared at the party, but only for a moment. This year, the Pride of Louisiana, Brittney Spears, came by and stayed throughout the whole party. Many people got a chance to meet her and take a picture. Thanks Britney!!!
Best Addition
There have been a lot of great additions over the years. For instance, the Misting System, the Extra Tents, and of course the TV and Stereo. But what single thing made a huge impact this season... that's right, the morning donuts. Thanks to Trey Austin, the early morning crew is supplied with a healthy breakfast to allow them to make it throught the day at full strength.
Tailgating Defensive Player of the Year
Jennifer Lindsey showed her true defensive prowess when that dirty couple was making out on her car. She stood up for herself and her car and chased those dirty, dirty people away.
Tailgating Offensive Player of the Year
Old man Brant came through as only an old man can... playing Golf. His tee shot on the head of the pinata wasn't the farthest, but his form showed that he truly is offensive.
Honorary Grammy
As we all know there are about 5000 Grammy Awards given out each year, so why not have a few for just our party, it's not like the grammy people will notice a few extra:
Best New Song - "Beer" by the Asylum Street Spankers
Best Old Song - "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash
Best Song from a Soudtrack - "Come Sail Away" by Eric Cartman (South Park)
Song of the Year - "Pregame March" by the Golden Band from Tigerland
The Collin Ford Rookie of the Year
Jeff Dunaway came through after his "red-shirt" season in the LSU band. He showed up early and left late. And he sang the silly part of all the stupid songs. Good job Jeff!!!
The Sharon Ford Most Improved Tailgater Award
Jonathan "Juba" Dziuba turned himself around this year. After a horribly disappointing year last year, Juba came back to prove a point this year, and did he ever. He became a staple of the Family Tailgating Party and the season would not have been as successful without him (Right?)
The Charlie Ford Sweatiest Tailgater Award
Because it rained during most of the warm tailgating parties, and it was cooler while it was not raining, we could not determine who was actually the sweatiest, so we will not be having the award this year. I would like to challenge the group to sweat a lot more next year.
The Jeremy Ford Memorial Tailgater of the Year
The 2nd Annual Award goes to the one and only thing that turned the season around and led the Tigers to the Sugar Bowl Victory... that's right, the door stop (or as it used to be known, the fruit cake). Even though it didn't show up much before the season began, it came through in the end and pulled us through.
NOTE- These awards have no actual bearing, or even rewards. We made them up so we don't really even know what criteria they are based on. If you did not get an award, sorry. If you did, congrats. But remember they don't mean anything. However, if you want to put them on your resume, feel free.